Two Bears
Two bears on a national forest were hard up for food with nothing but terrible weather the entire past year. After a too-cold Winter and a too-hot Spring, there was very little to eat. What there was was all dried up and frizzled. So, the older bear Sam, said to his younger companion Roger one day, “You know what? I’m so damned hungry I think I’m gonna go find and eat me a tourist!” “You can’t do that!” protested Roger. “Don’t you ‘member that warning Smokey gave us?” “Yeah, yeah, I know, but screw Smokey! We’re not supposed to eat the tourists ‘cause if we do they’ll declare us ‘problem bears’ and hunt us down and shoot us like, well . . . . , bears. But, I’m a-telling you, Roger, if we don’t start snacking on some tourists pretty damned soon we’re gonna starve to death. Hell, that’s a worse way to die than getting shot.” “Guess you’re right about that.” said Roger. “So, what do we do to catch us a tourist? How’s that work? I’ve never caught one before.” “Me ne